I am not a tiger mom, but I am definitely not a cat mom.

Seems like mom is the only one that gives the most, and been given the most (love, hugs, kisses, and also kid's temper tantrums once a while).

This evening Sunny didn't act like my sweet girl, well, at first she was. She received the certificate from the school because she won the handwriting contest. There are only 4 kids in her school, and she is the only 1st grader. I am so proud of her, she did a great job since she came to America.

But things changed dramatically. Since she finished her homework at Play Centers (an after school program), so she has a free time while I was cooking dinner. She read books as usual, then she came into the kitchen and said she wants to make Lemonade. I told her there is only one lemon left in the fridge and it was long time ago, but she can try. So she cut the lemon and I found it's not very fresh, so I suggested her don't eat it, I will buy some fresh lemons later. Absolutely she was so disappointed, so she left kitchen. But soon she came in and burst out to me "it's your fault! it's your fault! I asked you to buy lemon when we were in Mars, but you said we don't need lemon. it's your fault! Say sorry! Say sorry!" I was so surprised to see her has such a big anger, why can't you wait? why you were so mad just because a lemon? And asked me to say sorry! I was very unhappy of her, so I told her no, and you don't need to be furious for just a lemon. But she couldn't listen, she cried, screamed, over and over. I am tired after a whole day's work, besides I am starving, plus I am still not get rid of the cold, my voice even sounds different. I can't stop her, and I have to cook, she just didn't want to listen. After a few minutes, she cried even harder, so I said "if I say sorry, will you stop crying?" She nodded, then I said sternly "if I say sorry, you need to say sorry to me too, because of your behavior." So I said sorry to her. But she screamed back to me "it's too late! say it again! say I am sorry!" What?! I can't believe my ears, "Sunny, remember, I am not your classmate, I am your mom. Donn't play any game with me, it's not funny. I already said sorry." "No, say sorry! say sorry!" I realized she has a bad temper now, she will cry till exhausted. It's not because who is right, who is wrong, it's just because she wants to cry. But I am a stubborn person, I will not say any sorry again. So I have to let her cry. Soon somebody knocked my door, I know whom it is, I bet all the building can hear her scream. So my neighbor asked if I am ok, I told her my daughter is in a bad temper, but she will be fine. She gave me a very sympathetic face, and pointed to her door hint she has a kind daughter as well, well, at least I didn't hear her daughter scream. I thanked her and Sunny saw somebody came and hid in the bedroom. But she knew she made a wrong decision, she bothered our neighbors. I am so thankful my neighbor came, otherwise she may scream much longer.

Well, I continue to cook, she really get on my nerves. Later I have dinner ready, she was reading on the couch. I didn't ask her to come to eat, but I eat alone. I was thinking if she didn't come, what shall I do. It's a battle between the parent and kid, I don't want to spoil her, but I don't want to hurt her either. Well, before I figure out this issue, she turned off the light and washed her hands, came for dinner. I pretended I didn't see her. And she grabbed her chair beside me, instead of face to me, she sat intentionally back to me. I laughed in my heart, if you don't want to see me, then why you eat the food I cooked? Kid, is a kid. See her is calm down, I said very gently, if you asked me to say sorry just because I didn't buy what you want, then did you say thank you to me for everything I did for you everyday? She didn't reply. Then we didn't talk through the dinner time.

After dinner when she passed the bowl to me to wash, she said thank you, and when I gave her apple, she said thank you, I love to her being a sweet, polite girl. But I also can tolerant her bad temper, because I am her mom, even I wish it will never happen again, but it just can't avoidable, I understand, but like I said, I won't be a tiger mom, but I won't be a mom only please kids either.

2013, 我说

2013，我说
意味着生命已经结束了3个轮回，迈向第四个
意味着人生从此不再波澜起伏，
棱角已经磨平，平静的心看纷乱的世界

2013，我说
生命的动力来自内心的强大
健康、财富，永远像捉迷藏一样
你永远无法长久拥有它

2013，我说
相信，相信我的救世主
这是一种关系，
是你幸福的源泉，是你力量的源泉

2013，我说
开心过好每一天
忘记该忘记的
原谅该原谅的
善待自己，珍惜有限的每一天

2013, I say

2013, I say
2013 means life has ended three circles, towards the fourth
means that life is no longer ups and downs
no more horns, no more edges, but calm mind to see the chaos of the world.

2013, I say
Life is from the inner strength,
health, wealth, always like hide and seek,
you will never be able to have it forever.

2013, I say
Believe, believe my savior,
it's a relationship,
the source of happiness, the source of strength.

2013, I say
Be happy everyday,
forget what should be forgotten,
forgive what is forgivable,
treat myself well, cherish every limited single day.

The real benefits for whom lives in USA

Life is hard, right? No matter where you live, as long as on the earth, seems no big difference. But still there is some difference till the day you see the difference.

I haven't been back to China since I came to USA, it's been 3 years 3 months so far. But the connection never stopped, because my mother, my brother and my friends still there, and they are a part of my life. I complained a lot while things didn't work out like I imagine, you will never know your potential until you are challenged all the time. But is it only me feel stressed? Absolutely not, the answer is some people even more stressed than me. Or many many Chinese people they are stressed much more than me. Lucky me, live in a country has more freedom. Yes, that's the real benefits for whom lives in USA, even its freedom is being taken away little by little.

What my friends in China complained the most is kid's education, job pressure, missing the joy of life... I understand them, because I have gone through them. Again, lucky me. I am living in a country that I can make my own decision, make my own choice. I can choose where to live, where to send Sunny to study, what job I like, what kind of life I want.

I once read a word from a Chinese News, said "how happy you feel is not depend on how much you have, but depend on how much more you have than your neighbors." Sounds silly, but it's very true. People always want to be richer than others, better job than others, even they compare their kids with others. It's extremely obvious in those big rich cities. So the consequence is once someone did something, then others will all follow, will not consider if they like or not, but don't want to be left behind. It's called competition. I remembered when Sunny took daycare in China at age 3, 21 kids in her class, almost all kids took different classes, dance, drawing, math, calligraphy, chess etc in the Summer, I was not keen to let Sunny learn so early just because everyone was learning, but I prefer to wait to see what she really likes. So I asked her, and we didn't take any class that year. Later, another boy's mom told me the kids in her son's class are all learning playing chess, except her son. She is similar like me, positive of her own mind. But then she said one day her son told her requested to learn chess, the reason is when other kids talking about it, he knew nothing, he felt left behind. Can you see the big market in China? Once you have a good begin to provide a kind of study related service, then you will not lack of customer. I don't know if she chose to send her son to learn chess or not, but it's so annoying to her, I bet.

I can talk about all those kinds of annoying thing in few pages or even longer, because it happens everyday, everywhere. But nobody can change it, untill the day the government finds another better way to manage the country with such large population.

Embrace today...

Embrace today,
for today is real,
tomorrow is uncertain,
don't dream too much,
because it's too far to reach.

Embrace today,
thank God for your life,
enjoy the kid's smiles, hugs, kisses,
don't expect too much,
because future is too far away

Embrace today,
open your heart,
let God guide you, say a word to you,
give you peace, give you strength

Embrace today,
even if you will die tomorrow,
but no regret for you,
because you have lived for today.

--- In memory of Newtown Connecticut School Shooting

The real benefits for kids in USA

I always wondering why should Chinese parents sacrifice themselves to live in another strange country, one of the reasons is Chinese education has been crazy and force them to leave (including me), to any reason if you can, all for the sake of a more open, better education for their kids. But I didn't see any advantages from the public school system so far, and indeed I somehow miss the Chinese schools, even they are being too much to the students, compared with the American's schools.

But tonight I had a new evaluation of the real benefits for the kids in USA. That because Sunny complained she is tired of those books she borrowed from the library 3 weeks ago, she wants some new books. She is a girl whom is crazy on reading, she can read for the whole day except each meal I ask her to stop. And each time she will borrow around 20 books. Now everyday she reads 2 books at school which the teacher will sign, and she will bring home another 2 books to read at home. Yesterday she borrowed a really big book which is almost 100 pages and since she took dance lesson in the evening, so she didn't have time to finish it, because I rushed her to sleep. I am so happy to see she likes reading, I started to read her books when she was only a few months. It's very important to stimulate the kid's brain in the first 3 years, and reading is one of the best ways. If we are still in China, she definitely can't read as many as she wants, first not many books to borrow, most of books need to buy, not borrow from the library. Second don't have time to read, plenty of homework will not allow you to read. But since she came to the USA in last January, she probably has read five hundreds of book or even more! And now she is reading all the chapter books. Today no exception she borrowed 21 books and 3 DVDs.

In America, you can be very excellent, you can choose you own way, but all depends on yourself. I do appreciate all those public resources that share with everyone who is eager to learn. Don't waste them.

A fun game to practice math

Recently Sunny likes a game called "buy and sell" which she created by herself. The material is very simple, just cards. She pretends to be the seller, I pretend to be the buyer. And the products can be everything in your house, can be as small as a bottle of water, a box of cookie, can be as big as a fridge, a TV. The big price range can make the game more interesting and more challenging. Also it's a good way to practice add and subtract with the young students.

The value of the cards is each number under 10 represents $1-$10, and every picture cards represents $100, so enough money to buy stuffs!

The fun part is kid can quote whatever they feel comfortable, which they can handle, when they feel more confident of the numbers, then they will quote some big numbers to make it a little difficult. For example, 2, 5, 10, 50, 100 is very easy to handle, then maybe 9, 12, 36, 72. But still workable, the only thing is when I gave her a bunches of small numbers to match her big price, she has to add them first, so sometimes she may forget the original price. But it's ok, game is to have fun! Sometimes I will give her a little more or a little less to confuse her, but she will return the extra "money" or burst out "mama, it's not enough!" lol! I know, I am testing you!

I am so happy she likes this game, so whenever she wants to play, I will stop my stuffs and play with her!

A new challenge!

This is the ideal desk for kid! I have been looked for this kind of desk for long time, and finally found it, not too big, not too small, but has all the functions. I ordered online, and picked up at store, it's 70lbs! So I have to open the package and carry several pieces each time to upstairs. But it worthwhile! Then it took me almost 4 hours to assemble it, and glad Sunny was willing to help. I am pretty sure she will be much better than me when she grow up, and this is another skill I want to teach her!